Fiction

I went for a walk today. I was strolling along when I spotted a bird. A regular bird, not gray or blue or brown like you see in the movies. This one was normal. I said, "Hello" to the ball of neon pink fuzz that was staring right back at me. It responded with a few obscenities I'd rather not contemplate, and then flew onto an overhead water pipe. The drip, drip, drip of electricity resonated with a sonorous rhythm matched only by the sonic boom you commonly hear in black holes. In fact, I looked around to make sure no black holes were nearby when suddenly the bird let out a cry of elation. It was electrocuted on the spot, dead as a headless worm. I almost cried. I would have, if I hadn't been electrocuted as well. I never felt more alive than that last instant. My corpse returned home, but it forgot to close the gate so the dog got out. The dog knew the way home, so it wouldn't be returning this way if it had any say in the matter. I was glad it had finally obtained freedom. Really, I was. That tear? A tear of joy. Odd, how corpses cry. I've never seen a happy cadaver. Until today.