A beautiful life.

When I arrived at Heaven's Gate
St. Peter posed a query:
"What went so wrong, what took so long?"
(His eyes were getting teary)
So I looked right back at him and said,
With my so sad smile,
"I'm afraid I've not a clue:
I'm not the one on trial."
I'm not the one who fired the gun
And bade this race begin.

Do you think God ever loved and lost?
Ever broke his hollow heart?
He must have,
Because you can't make this shit up.
You can't make it up
To me
Oh Lord
You can't make it up
To me.

Oh, you're blaming God?
How quaint.
How magnanimous.
Loose lips kiss hips
And names tear good men down
Tear good guys
And girls
A p a r t.

Bitter much?
No, not me.
I eat my fruit
From a different tree.
My apples are oranges
And can't be compeared.

When Eve ate the apple, do you think
She decided to take a drink
From a water Fell or a flask upon her hip?
Do you think she drowned her sorrows
Said her goodbyes, cursed her tomorrows
And took a leap, took a dive, took a dip?
Got her feet wet
In the tears of God.

Poor God.
Bitter, betrayed
If only Eve had only stayed
Life wouldn't have been the same.
Life would have been a trial
Without

A tragedy.

(Don't blame Eve.
She ate the apple,
But I only found out
What we all already knew.)

***

What's wrong with you,
You little boy
What happened to your little toy?
Did it break
Or get up and walk away?

Have you ever dreamed of days
Of happiness and come-what-mays
When life itself was one long kiss goodbye?
Farewell.
Goodnight, darlin'.
Wake me when the mourning cums again.

Wake me when the world turns right
When children don't scream in the night
As loving parents watch and wait til dawn.
Wake me when each stranger smiles
When friends give freely "Stay awhile"'s
As lovers sigh and kiss between each yawn.

Wake me when the future lives
When a thought of tomorrow gives
You joy, and you just can't wait for more.

Oh, so now it's not 'cause you're all alone?
Your song's taken a different tone:
You just can't take the mean, mean world out there.
Well cry, poor thing, cry all you can,
I'm sure some monk will understand
Then close your eyes and double cross your soul
Goodbye!

Well, actually, before you go,
There is one thing I'd like to know:
Why the rush, if life don't

Mean a thing?

***

Honesty is the best policy holder
When it comes to ensuring ugly things
Like truth, justice
And the American Not OK.

First up, we have The Truth.
Or wish we did.
Which is odd.
Has it occurred to you
That, perhaps, we don't have it
For good reason?
For instance: Poetry lies.
(Or perhaps I presume too much)
Poetry says words in ways
Our ears just hope to hear
Or fear
(How queer- to open up the door for one
But let them all come in.)

Is love the truth?
Well, love is blind
Which means it's often hard to find
Your self
And still avoid
The cliffs that one falls from.
Fell into love
Fell off the boat
And drowned.
Blub blub, bub!

Quick question: Did man bounce after The Fall?

So, you see, The Truth's no fun
The Truth's what makes you fire the gun
Close the bag
And throw away the me.

Next up, we have our Justice.
All rise.
You stand accused of murder.
How does the jury find the defendants?
"Standing, your Honor."
Very well.
Call your first witless.

Our Father who Aren't in Heaven
Has a record that ain't too pretty
But, in the end, we only pity:

Misery's crime and punishment all its own.

And then we have Breakers of Hearts
Beautiful girls (or fucked up tarts?)
Really, in her end it's all the same.

But we don't play that petty game
What once was loved's still of that kind
And really, there's no guilt to find
There are just some times when no one gets to win.

Next up we have the Holy Ghosts
Who stand so tall
Demand the most
Who won't back down til you get up and fight.
Fight
For what's right
No matter how wrong you are.
Can't blame the dead
(But we'll still sure-as-Hell try!)

And finally, we have the Self:
(The Court turns a backwards Eye)
Mommy loved us
(We loved her too)
Grandparents loved us
(All tried and true)
Friends loved us
(And said as much and more)
Girls loved us
(Deranged then changed then love we had again)
But oh
Oh no
We break the chain
We didn't love us...
We never wanted ourselves
To have it all
And so we had none to give.
How can you love,
When you can't love yourself?
Lord knows we tried...

But in the end we up and died.
(The Court returns from their regress)
The Court finds the defendants innocent.
And in the matter of the First Person?
I find The Court
Or The Court found me
And we were Judge
Jury
Executioner.
What a team...

As for America's Not OK
It's been like that each blasted day
Since we signed the petition
And threw our note across the pond:
"Do You Like Us (Check 1776):
[ ] Taxes [ ] Death [ ] Pudding"
No one ever chooses pudding...

Did we want a revolution?
If you squawk about destruction
You'll need to find another spokesman
The only man I could destroy
Is the one I done did in.
Good men are hard to find
But they ain't hard

To kill.

(The Management apologizes for the content of tonight's programming.
Forgive and forget me not.)

***
I wish that I could tell you.
I wish that words could say
My love and pain
That could explain
Myself.
But sometimes lives just don't work out.
Sometimes lives trip and tumble
Trying to get up
Pick up
Put the pieces back.

I've never been too fond of puzzles.

Once, I think, the world was whole.
(We had spirit, yes we did)
We had truth, but really Beauty reigned.
Now, it's Truth that people want
Except they just can't find
That final point, the missing piece
That'd soothe a weary mind.

Life is now default of someone else but me.

But it shouldn't be some small blame game
There's much more at stake.
Much more burning
For flying much too high.

Hope is my flame.
But flames need fuel.
How cruel
To power the divine
With dying coals.

This fire's gone out.
But please, let your flame roar
Find some wings
And soar
Through life's

Love song.

***

Someday
Someday
We'll have time to watch the grass grow
We'll lie together, in a sun that's never too bright
On a day when life's just right
And love it all
Like we love ourselves.

Don't despair.
Don't damn it all
And never care;
Someday
Someday
I'll wake again
And smile.

I've always wanted wings.
Always hoped to fly
So high
I'd hear the angels sing.
I've always wanted to join their choir
And give up worldweary Notes.

I've always wanted
To see that Someday.
I've always wanted
To be the man I wished to see.

And I hope it's not too late.

I hope when I look down
On your so shining smiles
I see a mirror
I see that man
I see my wings.

Be my phoenix
Lift me up
For this fight's not done.
The war's not lost
If anything, it's waiting to be found.
I'm waiting to be found
In the earth
In the sky
In the heart and soul
Of every lost wanderer
Who wants to grow a Garden.

Have you ever seen a face light up?
Ever seen a person
Look into your eyes
Radiant
Joyous
Beautiful?
(To look into her eyes
Is to look into life)
And, just then,
That beautiful creation
Wants you too...
That's what I'll remember
As the starlight fades to black.

We are wayward children.
Abandoned, lost.
Abused.
By a Father who never knew
What love meant.
And what is love?
Love is what a good man hopes to be.
Love is a goal
A wish
A dream.
And, as I fly away,
I leave my love behind
My banner ready to be waved.
Take back the Garden.
And let it grow again.

Thank you for being
Thank you for trying
Thank you for seeing
Thank you for crying
Thank you for caring
Thank you for living
Thank you for loving!

What is love?
Love is

A beautiful life.

Behind.

Do you remember that cold day
When our souls both ran away
But mine tripped
And yours sailed right on by

Why didn't you wait?
Stop and stare
Stop and care
Like a friend's supposed to do

I fell.
Fallen angel without wings
Worthless things
For running.
I fell from grace
And the look
Upon your face
Spoke to me
Of your distaste
For flying.

Fallen, now I can't get up
Can't wake up
Can't rise up from my death bed
Rest my heart beneath your head
And have life breathed into me
Once again.

And yet I see your whispered sighs
Wistful glances
Swallowed cries
I see them all
Through eyes of yesterday.

Still I recall your beaming face
Radiant for the world to see
Shining as a face should be
Safe within my wings.

Now all that's left is some wry smirk
Ruins of some dead guy's work
But where I remember Atlantis lay
You scoff, look down your nose and say
"That was a Fiction of the day
You thought you saw the sun."

I may not have seen the sun
But, darling, I went blind.

What do you do
When your soul's turned blue
And your self is torn apart?
What can you say
When they've run away
And you can't even start?

I once was found
But I fell down
Now, someone, pick me up
Lift me up
Toss me to the sky
Throw me up
And watch me fly
Watch me soar
Watch me spurn
The laws of man
Watch me crash
Watch me burn
And die again
Shoot me down
This bird done flew too high!

A man once asked God
"Why'm I born too young to walk?
Too young to talk?
Too young to live my life?
Seems that when I finally learn to live
All's I can do is die.
Now, Lord, I ask you
Why?
Why give me that cold shoulder
Then burn me to the ground?"

And God, He only smiled
And said
"Go help yourself."

And then He turned away.

Lord, I miss you.

Life's all about just letting go
Building up
Then up it blows
Straw houses in the wind.
Life's about watching the snow
The world turns white,
But before you know
It melts away
And gray ain't never looked so dark
To me.

Hold me
Love me
Don't let go
Just let me know you'll stay
Let me know
It's all ok
You'll see me through the night
You'll see me through til things turn right
And still you won't let go.

The most dangerous fantasies
Are those within your grasp
Those that you could reach out
And touch me
Feel me
Love

How absurd!
To think that just one simple word
Can make me smile again.

But, I guess, I'm just too slow
I can't keep up with you.
I'm no runner
So I'm left

Behind.

Homeless.

The mask that hides a man
Is a castle made of sand
It has the form
But sand is hardly stone.

In comes the tide
Decry, deride
Tear that wall on down
Each novel wave
Creates a grave
A weight, a waste, a frown

Should we strengthen our foundation?
Rebuild from the ground on up
All memories must go
Store wide clearance
Blank slate
No pain
Is gain
Let's go
Let's "Start again"

All it takes
It just one tear
To end a world of sand

Your problem is
You're not fired up
Heat the sand
You get some glass
Ain't no waves gonna
Tear you
Wear you
Scare you down
No more.

And now man's mask's
A wall of glass
It don't crumble
But it shatters when it's stoned

I see you, through my walls
You walk and talk like me
You seem like me
You like me
Look at me
Help me
Love me...
But if you think to break the glass
Cop a feeling
Pinch an ass
You'll find we both can bleed

Well maybe glass just ain't the way
Let's build a castle made of clay
Can't see in, don't fade away
Sounds just fine to me.

Heat the kiln
Let's make it hot
The harder the shell
The hotter the hell
Inside

Ain't nobody gonna see me now
Ain't nobody gonna reach me now
Ain't nobody gonna take these walls away

What you got that I ain't got?
You think your snot has got a shot
At turning lead to gold?
You don't care
You don't dare
You just swear
And tear
And grin
Cock
Your gun
And fire, fire, fire away

I'm a phantom in your cage of mirrors
Or maybe my eyes
Are all the mirror that you need.

I'm sorry, too.
What can I do?
I can speak of flowers, trees
Of birds and bees to come
But speaking's not believing
And I haven't seen a thing.

When is enough enough?
When you've lost all of your stuff?
When you've taken your soul
And given it away?
When you're dead
And can't be blamed
No more?

What you got that I ain't got?
You fucking, drunken too hot shot
You perverted pissant with no plan
But win.

I can't get no
I won't get no
Never gonna get
My spheres aligned
Never gonna get
My happy day

My calendar's too full.

I hate it all
I hate you all
I hate me all over

Who knew clay houses melt?

Perhaps I'm just too close to ground
Need to rise above the sound
Need to get up high
So I won't get so low
Beat the heat
And leave mankind behind

Up up and away from you.

Hello, my child.
Oh, of course, I know.
I'd be glad to listen.
Speak up, the wind carries your words
To places old ears won't hear
Ah. Yes. I see. Have seen. Will see again.
I absolve you.
Your sins are sins of man
And we above know why
And though we must decry
We can't help but forgive.

Two plus two is four
Do I need to tell you more?
Draw a graph, perhaps a chart?
(This kid sure ain't bright or smart)
Do you need some private help?
If so, just give a yelp
I'll come on down
And lend a better hand
From a better man
Than you.

But first you're right
And then you're wrong
And then you're on your way.

The higher you go
The further you fall
When you're finally pushed

Unreal estate
Is on my plate
I need a place to stay
Need a place to lay
My weary heart and soul

Give me wings
And I would fly
Be free of clay and sand
And glass and towers to the sky
Just leave the ground
And soar my life away

All I want's a place to stay!
A place to play
A place to pray
A place to call my own
A home that won't crumble in the wind
Won't melt or shatter
Will let you in
So you can live
Within my shelter too.
I want a home that's made of life
A home with living walls
That will not fade
But bend and mend if broken.
Will regrow
Will live anew
Each and every time.

But unfortunately it seems
That home's aren't made of dreams
My roof caving in
My walls falling down
My home leaving me

Homeless.